Tuesday, May 19, 2009
don't know who i'm supposed to be. don't really know if i should, give a damn.
I'm not happy. I have this urge to just stop whatever I'm doing, and go into a deep slumber until everything goes away. I don't want to go to school, I don't want to do work, I don't want to have fun. This house I'm stuck in makes me feel deprived of that. When I step outside, I feel a whole world around me; it feels incredible. But I can't seem to grasp that feeling where ever I go. I need a reason to stay motivated, but I just haven't found it yet. I don't even know if I will ever find it. I feel like I have completely lost myself. It's taken me years to make myself this way, and if I keep thinking like this, then I don't know. I'm not grounded in myself anymore.