Thursday, March 26, 2009
we have got it made like ice cream topped with honey, but we got no money.
My dad left for Ohio and is planning to come back tomorrow. He's driving all the way there with his friend just to get a power tool they need for his business. Of course, this leaves my brother with his huge ass truck that he hates driving, which also has to drop me off tomorrow for my conference.

Rambling here. Today at rehearsal I was dead. Completely. I just saw stares shooting at me from my teachers as to what the hell was going on with me. I was crying the other night making my eyes puffy. So that made them close more so it looked like I was sleepy. "Everything okay there? Are you getting enough sleep?" They ask me. I nod my head lazily. See, I want to tell them what's going on right now. I want to tell them what's making me so confused and so out of place, but I would like to figure this out for myself for once. This distance thing from them, pulling away is killing me. I hate just talking to them about something casual then not going into what really matters.

I'm not much as to teased by telling them, but with this situation I've been asked not to tell anyone about it specifically. I don't know if I can keep this promise because those three ladies are basically my eyes when it comes to being optimistic. How can I be optimistic in a situation when the people teaching me aren't in on it?

Eh, I'll think about this over the weekend. I need to get some rest for tomorrow! Big day of guest speakers and a conference far, far, away from school.. for the whole day. But I will miss my homegirls Janine and Almira!

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